Signs
Sign
over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time
wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
At a Proctologist's door: "To
expedite your visit please back in."
On a Plumber's truck: "We
repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your
plumber."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company: "We
don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area: "If
we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push.
Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
On a Fence: "Salesmen
welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership: "The
best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No
appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company: "We
would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you
will be."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't
stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago
Radiator Shop: "Best
place in town to take a leak"
.