42 Things In The Life Of An Italian
Child
01. You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an
entire year after a funeral.
02. You spent your entire childhood
thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich."
03. Your family dog understood Italian.
04. Every Sunday afternoon of your
childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
05. You've experienced the phenomena of
150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
06. You were surprised to discover the
FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
07. You thought killing the pig each year
and having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from
your shed ceiling was absolutely normal. (Wow, that's really Italian!)
08. You ate pasta for dinner at least
three times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for
Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.
09. You grew up thinking no fruit or
vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable
through haggling.
10. You were as tall as your grandmother
by the age of seven.
11. You thought everyone's last name
ended in a vowel.
12. You thought nylons were supposed to
be worn rolled to the ankles.
13. Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.
14. You were surprised to find out that
wine was actually sold in stores.
15. You thought that everyone made their
own tomato sauce.
16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve
or any Friday for that matter.
17. You ate your salad after the main
course.
18. You thought Catholic was the only
religion in the world.
19. You were beaten at least once with a
wooden spoon or broom.
20. You thought every meal had to be
eaten with a hunk of bread in your hand.
21. You can understand Italian but you
can't speak it.
22. You have at least one relative who
came over on the boat.
23. All of your uncles fought in a World
War.
24. You have at least six male relatives
named Tony, Frank, Joe or Louie.
25. You have relatives who aren't really
your relatives.
26. You have relatives you don't speak
to. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
27. You drank wine before you were a
teenager.
28. You relate on some level, admit it,
to the Godfather and the Sopranos. I maka a meata ball you can't refuse! ...forrgetttabbboutit!
badda bing!
29. You grew up in a house with a yard
that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable
growing out of it.
30. Your grandparent's furniture was as
comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.
31. You thought that talking loud was
normal.
32. You thought sugared almonds and the
Tarantella were common at all weddings.
33. You thought everyone got pinched on
the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
34. Your mother is overly protective of
the males in the family no matter what their age.
35. There was a crucifix in every room of
the house.
36. Wakes would be held in someone's
living room.
37. You couldn't date a boy without
getting approval from your father. (Oh, and he had to be Italian)
38. You called pasta
"macaroni".
39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at
school.
40. Going out for a cup of coffee usually
meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.
41. Every condition, ailment, misfortune,
memory loss and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't eat
something.
42. Those of you who get this...YOU KNOW
who to pass it on to!
CIAO!